


Tragic Kingdom

by imissmywings



Category: Bagelpocalypse - Fandom, Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, Bagelpocalypse, Crack, Explicit Bagel on Bagel action, M/M, Other, Supernatural crack, also like 7 different anons wanted my to feature cream cheese as lube, and who am i to deny them that, bagel cas, bagel dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-06
Updated: 2014-06-06
Packaged: 2018-02-03 15:10:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1749056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imissmywings/pseuds/imissmywings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I'm am so sorry. I am so so sorry.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tragic Kingdom

It was just another day in the bagel bag, the usual morning rush of the humans buzzing around the kitchen, grabbing their breakfast and pouring their juiced oranges. Well, maybe not just another day. The bagel bag was starting to run low, today Michael, Adam, and Lucifer got dropped into the toaster. My assigned bagel partner, Dean, cheered on the downfall of Michael and Lucy, but didn’t seem to acknowledge Adam’s toasting?? Okay?? Moving on.

That, of course, left me alone with the smoking hot NBIT (New Bagel in Town), Dean Wincruster. He was beautifully round in all the right places (everywhere), and was such a slut, displaying his pretty little hole for everyone to see. He needed to be taught a lesson. 

The toasting of the 3 remaining bagels in the bag left me and Dean all alone; while the humans finished their breakfast and hurried off to work and school, I got to hang out with this hot piece of dough. Once we were completely by ourselves, the house calmingly quiet except for the slow jazz I had programmed to come on the night before.

I noticed Dean’s eyes on me, but I wouldn’t give him the pleasure of acknowledging that. Not yet. I began rolling around the bag in slow, leisurely circles, making sure to give Dean a good view of my hole and occasionally glance back to make sure he was watching, never making eye contact. Careless Whisper played in the background.

I left my crumbs all around the bag, marking my territory, staking my claim, little did Dean know, not just on the bag, but on Dean, too. Even when they first came home from the grocery store lastnight, awakening from their hypersleep with Michael, Lucifer, and Adam in the bag with, the bag had always belonged to Me. I was in control and I wanted Dean to know that. 

“So, Dean. I hear you’re new to the whole, toasting buns… buttering rolls… the bagel business?” I cocked my head, arching my eyebrow as I looked at him coyly. Dean nodded slowly.

“Yeah. I had to leave the bagel factory to help put my little brother through college. He wants to be a glazed doughnut. Expensive lifestyle, but not impossible for his dough. If I could help make it happen, I wanted to do anything I could.” Dean said, “I know the bagel business is rough, but it pays like $2.49 a batch, so…”

I nodded my head. “Knew you didn’t have much experience. What do you say I show you around?” Dean’s eyebrows raised and his eyes widened. I knew what he was thinking. I already had him wrapped around my sugary buns. I winked as I turned away, rolling casually down the countertop, knowing I had intrigued him, and he would follow. 

I stopped as I reached the edge of the counter, and counted slowly in my head. 1, 2, 3… Sure enough, Dean came rolling up beside me, visage cautious but clearly interested.  
“So, I hear you’ve been in the bagel business for a while now?” 

I smirked as I looked over the counter, my kingdom, the kitchen, even the dining room. Anywhere the fluorescent light touches, was mine. I knew it, but I wanted Dean to know it, too. 

I turned back to him, nodding casually. “It’s not a big deal. I have a quite a bit of…” Cas paused here, looping around Dean and cornering him between the wall a recipe book. Here it come, wait for it, wait for it.  
The smoulder. Bagel eyebrows raised suggestively, bottom lip caught between my teeth. I leaned in to Dean as he hit the wall behind him, aware of how he began to glaze over, his breath catching, his bagel dick swelling in his bagel pants (how had he not noticed those before??).

“Experience.” I breathed seductively in Dean’s bagel ear (more like a vague indention of a hole somewhere on his side but hey, I can work with that).

I slowly pushed Dean down onto his knees (??) and lightly slapped my bagel side into his cheek, his mouth gaping.

“Such a shame, Dean, if you can’t learn to keep your mouth shut, I guess we’ll just have to stuff it full, won’t we? Why don’t you put that pretty little cake hole of yours to good use.”

Dean nodded eagerly, using his teeth (woah where did those come from) to unzip my bagel pants (WOAH I didn’t know I was wearing these), pulling out my half-hard baguette and quickly sucking the tip into his hole, moaning around it like I knew he would. I let him swallow down around my, working his bagel tongue up the shaft.

I pulled out, a pitiful noise escaping from Wincruster’s mouth as drop of glaze leaked from my now achingly hard baguette. He reached out and licked it away, a soft smile on my face as I tutted disapprovingly at him. 

“Uh uh uh, Dean. Why don’t you run over to the toaster and get some cream cheese. Dean’s eyes widened and he nodded quickly as he turned away. I stopped him before he left the corner he had been pinned in. “That’s a yes, Sir, Dean.” 

Dean’s bagel eyes were as wide as cinnamon rolls as he corrected himself. “Yes, Sir. Sorry, Sir.”

He ran off to the toaster and I smirked. Not 30 minutes after everyone had left and I already had him on his knees for me. This was going to be way too simple. I decided to shake thing up a little.

“Dean, why don’t you bring over a few bread ties on your way back over?”

Dean’s face froze before catching himself, suppressing a wicked grin and nodding profusely. “Yes, Sir.”

I continued to take off my bagel pants (still not quite sure how those got there) as Dean rolled up behind me, bragging the container or cream cheese and the bread ties balanced on top.

“Good boy, Dean. Undress.” Dean blushed under the praise and kicked off his bagel pants, setting them in the corner my mine. He promptly opened the container of cream cheese and turned in front of me, flopping on the ground and leaving his delicious hole exposed, open and waiting for me.

I grabbed one of the bread ties and leaned over Dean, holding him down with my knee (??) as I wrapped one bread tie around each of his sides. (It didn’t perform any actual use because he didn’t have much movement in the first place, but what the fuck, it looked hot.)

Dean whimpered as the bread ties tightened, breathe coming out in short spurts. “Cas, oh, Cas. Please, Sir, need you inside me.”

I smiled wickedly from above him, slathering cream cheese over my achingly hard baguette, and slicked a slow, teasing strip up Dean’s dough before rubbing cream cheese generously around his hole. Dean moaned at the contact, bucking his bagel hips up to the touch. (more like flopping, kind of like a Magikarp) 

I quickly aligned myself with him, bracing his hips (with what? hands? I don’t know) as I slid the tip inside, his sticky warmth engulfing my baguette. 

“Oh, Dean. Such a good bagel for me.” I said softly, my breath hitching on the last word as I slammed my hips down to meet his, ripping a choked moan from Dean’s throat. I kept up a brutal pace, faster and faster, Dean moaning incessantly beneath me. 

I leaned over Dean’s (neck??), my breath hot on his (neck?? probably) as I whispered, gently but firm, not a suggestion, but a demand, “Come for me, Dean.”

Dean came untouched with a long moan, sticky spurts of glaze shooting out from his baguette, as I rode him through it, still pounding into him, my hips began to stutter and I quickly pulled out. I had plans for Dean.

Dean let out a little whimper, confused as he rolled over to face me. “You didn’t…? Oh...” Dean watched as I jacked my baguette, holding it over his face, and a grin spread across his. 

“I’m afraid I’m going to have to take back what I said earlier, Dean. Open up.” Dean complied, opening his mouth wide, tongue sticking out to catch my glaze as I came over him, glaze shooting over his body, his face, his tongue. Dean moaned happily as he licked up what he could reach with his bagel tongue.

I smiled wearily, exhausted. “You’ve been a good boy, Dean. I think you’ve learned how to take orders in the bagel business. I suppose now I’ll have to reward you.” Dean’s jaw dropped as I lowered onto my knees, licking up all the glaze on his body, moaning as I did so. 

I stood up when I was done, rolling around Dean to admire my work. Bite marks covered his body. He was mine, finally. I had marked him as my own, part of my kingdom. He belonged to me now. 

“You know, I like you Dean. I suppose I’ll have to watch over you.” I rolled up behind him, whispering for effect, “You wanna know how I’ve lasted so long in the bagel business?”

Dean looked over his shoulder (shoulder?? what the fuck are those??) at me, jaw slack. “How?” he whispered quietly.

I turned sharply, rolling away slowly back towards the bagel bag. “I think we’re going to have a lot of fun together, Wincruster.”

Dean turned towards me. “Won’t we get eaten? We’re the only bagels left in the bag!”

I smirked at him. “How do you think I lasted so long in the Bagel Business?” I swung out a rope, Indiana Jones style, looping it around the pot hanger on the kitchen ceiling. Dean rolled up to me quickly. 

I kissed him fiercely. “Will you run away with me, Dean Wincruster? I could make you a very happy bagel.”

Dean nodded, holding on to me tight. “You’re the love of my life, Cas. I’ll go anywhere with you.”

I nodded approvingly and tightened my grip on the bagel I loved beside me. I jumped off the counter, swinging across the kitchen and through an open window placed conveniently in front of me. As I swung out, I looked back at my beloved kingdom, the second love of my life. 

“We will meet again,” I whispered. “Perhaps in the next life.” I tear slid down my face as I continued my journey into a whole new world, unstoppable with the love of my life by my side.

"OW!" 

The window was shut.

**Author's Note:**

> Once again I am so fucking sorry.


End file.
